I think you did a very good effort there. the shapes are there, but your loops are a complete mess. The basic stuff is more or less there, you just need to connect them differently...
Once again we bring out this great image...
In a nutshell, mouth, mouth+nose, eyes and entire face should have a loop if possible. Cheeks can be just squares, going down from the eyes and forehead, and sideways from the mouth.
The idea behind the loops is that they folow the human mussles (more or less), so if you want to rig and animate your model, it will act like a real human face. I've done only one full headrig so far, but trust me on this, you realy want the loops. They will make your life alot more pleasant...
keep us posted