OH the version that Alchemist 101 was using was 8.0, I believe, or 8.5, but heres a video tutorial that helped me when I was on version 7:
http://www.williamkladis.com/index2.html
Go to tutorials section, and find the ambient occlusion Video, I believe it was for 7.0, I may be mistaken.
Hope it helps.
don't worry about firsts posts being as you call "Retarded" but almost all firsts posts are, thats why some people sign up in forums to get that help that can really benifit, and sharpen your skills. Anyway, welcome!